It’s true that I’m a sucker for a lot of stuff that comes off as snooty or high-falutin’, like foie gras, cassoulet, and crepinettes (although if you think about it, that stuff isn’t snooty at all–French cuisine was born largely from poverty and desperation.  Why else would they eat snails and horses?  But that’s another subject for another time).

However, there are times when I just want something that hits a little closer to home.

I am pleased to introduce to you the King of White Trash Comfort Food:

The Texas Torpedo

In the spirit of comfort food everywhere, there’s no real written recipe for it, so I don’t have a measured-out ingredients list for you.  If you tried to quantify it like that, you’d rob it of its soul factor.

Get yourself a hot dog.  Personally, I like Hebrew National and Nathan’s for the most part, but considering the trials this dog is about to endure in order to become a Texas torpedo, you can get away with using something cheap.  Not too cheap, but cheap.

Cut a lengthwise slit in it, about 3/4 of the way down (maybe a little more), and spread some peanut butter into that slit.  Take a slice of bacon and spiral-wrap it pretty tightly around the dog.  Deep fry the hail clanjamfrie, slap it in a hot dog bun (side-sliced, not one of those top-sliced Yankee perversions), squirt some Cheez-Whiz on top, and there you have the basic Texas torpedo.  I think a little relish is nice, but I also think that the torpedo doesn’t really require much in terms of culinary accoutrements.  Further toppings are up to you, but my advice is that you keep it minimal.

Grab yourself a side of cole slaw and a plastic cup of sweet tea with mint and lemon, sit in the shade of a cottonwood tree, and count your blessings.

Next at bat:  terrine de ris de veau en cocotte avec le mousse de foie de volaille.

Nah, just kiddin’.  Sounds good, though.

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