Okay, I lied.  Nothing critical.  Nothing interesting.  Nothing to see here.  Move along.

I had a fascinating and blog-worthy thought earlier this evening, but now I can’t remember what it was.

I’ve been watching the Dark Knight for the tenth or twelfth time (“twelfth” is an awfully funny word, isn’t it?).  Heath Ledger nails it, R.I.P.  Gary Oldman’s pretty good too, but I have my doubts about Christian Bale.  It’s probably not his fault so much as it is the director’s.  Has anybody ever successfully played the Batman role?  I can’t think of anyone.

As a nifty little lagniappe, it’s got Morgan Freeman and Sir Michael Caine.

Here it is late May, and I still have my heater running.  That has absolutely nothing to do with Batman, although I doubt that Bruce Wayne ever had to scramble for wool socks and sweatshirts in May.  At least he had an Alfred to fetch them if and when the time came.

“Fetch” is a funny word too.  “Twelfth Fetch” would be a good name for a band, or one of Shakespeare’s plays.  “What purple grace offend thee, milord, that I may fetch thee twelve?”  “‘Tis well that I procure thy pole, most murd’rous engine dire, yet twelve do not your dozen make.”

Hell, that was easy!  I could be Shakespeare.  Sure.  Sure I could.  You bet.

And now, without any transition whatsoever, a bit of a book review:

I just finished reading Craig Ferguson’s autobiography, American on Purpose.  It’s a pleasant, quick, and easy read.  Neither fabulous nor awful, and how can you dislike anything written by someone who loves America?  If anything, it’s a nice reminder that we’re lucky to be Americans.  Yes, life–even in America–can be lousy, but it beats the hell outta life elsewhere.  As Will Rogers said, America’s the only country on earth where you can drive your own car to the poor-house.  At the very least, we have clean water, which is a huge blessing (even if you have to steal it from your neighbor’s outdoor tap at four in the morning.  Not that I’ve done that.  Lately.  Much).

“Neighbor” is yet another funny word, but I will spare you the Shakespeare dust-up.

Back to Craig Ferguson:  If his book accomplishes anything, it’s making it clear that Glasgow is a dreary and awful place.  I’ve been to Glasgow, and I can tell you first-hand that it’s dreary and awful.  They like to brag about their architecture and whatnot, but so does Columbus, Indiana, which is a pile of crap piled on other piles of crap, with some vestiges of crap squeezing out from the edges.  Of crap.

That’s all I can think of for now.  Stand down from Red Alert.